Anti Formulaic
by ShadowBluebell
Summary: AU, OneShot: Girl pines for guy. Girl gets guy. Girl loses guy. Formulaic, right? But this isn’t some Korean drama or a high school love story, and Kagome isn’t a helpless damsel. She’s the definition of anti-formulaic. InuyashaKagome


**AN: **Mild lime alert! Oh god, I'm so ashamed. Definitely rated for language, though. I also do not own Inuyasha, so there.

**Anti-Formulaic**

One-shot

_Being smart means breaking the formula._

Kagome was born perceptive; at least that's what her mother claimed. Kagome considered herself a careful observer, someone capable of stepping out of a group, turn around, and loudly exclaim, "What the hell?" Because Kagome was no sheep. Just because one person said it was right didn't mean it was. Kagome was an independent thinker. She did not follow trends, she tended to do what she felt was right, including smart fashion choices that wouldn't haunt her twenty years later.

Whenever she watched soap operas with her mom she would blurt our, between commercials, "But she loves him!"

"But she's also very stubborn," her mother would say as she dabbed her moist eyes with a crumpled tissue. "They just can't handle it. So they part ways…"

"That's stupid," Kagome blinked. "If she was watching this with us," she said, referring to the protagonist in the soap opera, "she'd know how stupid she looks."

"Some people aren't as perceptive as you," her mother sniffled with a smile.

"Mom."

"Yes dear?"

"What does per-cep-tive mean?"

When Kagome grew older she realized she was having pseudo-out-of-body-experiences. Not psychedelic spiritual experiences, mind you, but they were her moments of sensibility, per se. She'd step out of her place, pretend she was a viewer, and then decide, "Yup, I'm being stupid. Stop the train!"

So when high school came around and she became more "tasteful" to the male eyes, she made sure she avoided attention. She wore baggy clothes, she turned away any and all form of makeup, and she didn't make shallow friends. She was being safe, yes, but she wasn't putting herself through—

"Did it hurt? Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?"

"Fucking pervert!" Sango yelled and threw her purse at her on-and-off again boyfriend.

Kagome watched the love-hate relationship unfold. She had classes with both of them since freshman year and she still couldn't understand why Sango stayed in touch with Miroku. This was love, then? Weird. She nodded; she had much to learn.

She got the opportunity when she saw **_him _**in the large tree behind the school.

"That's **_Inuyasha_**," Yuka gossiped during lunch hour. "He's the loner. They say he's got a history of anger problems, but he's _so _hot!"

Kagome scrunched her nose. The hot loner? How terribly cliché.

She learned what the true meaning of cliché characters when she met the unruly bad boy Kouga. He was chiseled, popular, and athletic. Except, beneath the shallow exterior, she didn't connect with him. They just didn't connect, and his interest in her waned when she rejected him for the second and final time, saying, "Friends forever. Because you're a great friend, and you're my friend. And we're friends, and we'll stay friends forever."

That shut him up, especially his habit of calling her "his woman."

Then she met Hojo. The guy every older woman called the perfect, sensible man that would make a good, supportive husband. Great, except he was as shallow as Kouga. He just didn't have that substance with her and, well, she pretty much rejected him like she rejected Kouga.

Word got around that she rejected two good-looking guys and every male in a twenty mile radius avoided her like a skunk. A heartbreaker, they called her. Toyed with men's hearts, they whispered. Kagome glared at the group at the end of the hallway and shouted, "MAN-WHORES!" before running the hell away from there.

Suddenly the loner looked very single.

**_He _**interested her. **_He _**had something. What that something was, Kagome had no idea. But at least he didn't try to approach her or avoid her—he just stayed. In his tree.

That was why she had no problem finding him.

"How are you not hungry?" Kagome yelled up from beneath the tree.

No response. She wondered if he was asleep.

"You never go to lunch, do you?"

"Fuck you."

OK, he was awake. "Yeah, whatever you say, buddy," she said and sat down by the base of the tree and pulled out her lunch. "Yay, cheeseburger."

She clearly heard him curse above her.

"And it's so warm too."

"Fuck."

"And so cheesy."

"…"

"Want fries? I'm so full—"

A dog-eared man appeared beside her and roughly snatched the fries from her hand, and just as quickly returned to his perch with a simple "Keh" as a thanks. He ignored her for the rest of the period and she went back to class. She found out from a chatty Eri Inuyasha and his mother lived on a fixed income. After school Kagome slowly went to her piggy bank, muttered a small eulogy, and raised her hammer.

And for two weeks she brought him a side dish that she would conveniently be too full to finish. She was beginning to like the routine until it was surreptitiously broken one fine day, the week before prom. "It's me…" he was sitting at the base of the tree, "…again." Kagome looked horrified. "Does this mean I have to sit in the tree today?"

"No."

"Because I can't climb to save my life."

"Shut up."

"Fine, we'll change places, but only for today." She moved to climb the tree but he grabbed her ankle. "Hmm?"

"Prom."

"Yeah, what of it?"

"You going?"

Kagome didn't bat an eye. "Nope."

"…"

"It's too much work. I'd have to buy a dress and everything. I'm going to the movies."

"Yeah?"

"It's a statement against the school tradition. That and I hear the local fan-boys managed to convince someone to rerun the Lord of the Rings trilogy back to back. Wanna come with?"

Inuyasha stared. "Wouldn't we be there for over 12 hours?"

"That's why we're ditching school!"

He sat there for a long time. Then he cracked a genuine smile, and her heart fluttered. Yup, he wasn't so shallow. He had that something.

And that something turned out to be a real turn-on.

"Oh god, Inu," she gasped, "YASHA!"

They were in one of the bathroom stalls, of all the places, of the movie theatre. After the first part of the trilogy had ended Kagome had accidentally—no quotes, it was a real accident—spilled her extra large orange soda on Inuyasha's lap. She took his wrist and brought him to the ladies' washroom, since the theatre was populated with more males than females that day…and they were alone in the bathroom and Kagome was wiping and…she noticed the bulge and…and…

He slid his hand out and licked his fingers. Kagome pretty much collapsed and rested her head on his shoulder, staying upright only by the arm around her waist.

She was letting him do this in a bathroom. Was she nuts? Well, yeah, but it was sort of clear both of them were virgins. When she found out earlier that day he had been embarrassed beyond belief, and ready to leave the theatre without another word.

That and…she preferred him (and his deft fingers) over any other—oh dear.

Kagome groaned as he slid his fingers into her again. "Inu…yashaaaa…the movie's going to start…so-OOOOH!"

"What was that?" He smirked.

She moaned in ecstasy and grinded against his hand. He half carried her back to their seats. After the second part of Lord of the Rings they went back to the ladies' washroom for round two.

--

He had smelled it. She reeked of his scent and he had smelled it. Oh for heaven's sake.

Kagome tapped her feet and glared at the two of them, both bruised and battered. Her withering gaze made the two cringe.

"You two were fighting?"

The two looked away.

"Fighting over someone in particular?"

Inuyasha suddenly looked indifferent while Kouga grimaced.

"If you guys were fighting over someone I think you two would be the corniest, ugliest people I ever met," her voice suddenly sweetened to a dangerous level. "But you guys weren't fighting over someone, **_right_**? Kouga, we're **_friends_**, aren't we?"

Inuyasha smirked while Kouga grimaced.

Kagome straightened and scowled. "You two shake hands. NOW."

The two shook hands. This quickly turned into an arm wrestle. Kagome sighed. Better an arm wrestle than a Battle Royale.

--

Kagome and Inuyasha made it to the same college. She had to personally tutor him so he could pass his core classes, but he wasn't an idiot. His memorization skills were ridiculously good.

Unfortunately Kagome was put in an all girls' dorm and he lived in a totally different campus. When she decided to drop by unexpectedly she found him not in his room, but at a party a few floors above. When she snuck into the party she found him in a dark room, missing one shirt and latched to a vivacious female friend.

Kagome loudly cleared her throat and turned on the lights. His expression was one of confusion as he looked from the girl in his arms to Kagome. Realization set in and he pushed his new friend away with a disgusted yell. Kagome inhaled, then shouted, "MAN-WHORE!" and then ran out the party like a crazy quarterback and rushed out into…the rain?

THE RAIN? Great, she was going to cry in the rain.

"K-Ka…gome, wait!" A slurred voice called out.

Kagome stood on the sidewalk, trying to process everything. Should she listen to risk forgiving him despite what she saw? Or risk it and hear him out since there was a **_SLIM_** possibility that he wasn't entirely at fault.

She could run away and brood for a couple days and get with Kouga, even though she felt nothing for him, so she could spite Inuyasha and then have a really messed up future.

"Please…listen to me!"

Kagome turned around. "I'm listening."

He stopped his blubbering and froze. "You're…listening?"

She nodded eagerly.

"You…you're listening."

"I'm waiting." With her warning he was on it, his sobriety back and his senses sharpened. He began with the whole story and the reasoning after, explaining how he refused alcohol since he never liked it much, how one moron had the idiotic idea of playing spin the bottle, how his punch was spiked and he agreed to kiss a girl. Then the girl thought they had connected and after he had a few more drinks and the music began she latched on, wouldn't let go, and when he asked for Kagome she said she was her and…he was hot and the music and the drink and the boobs…

Kagome frowned. She decided she'd ask for eyewitness accounts. Hadn't Miroku been there? Perhaps she could interrogate him. She looked at the wet man in front of her. He was so desperate, ready to get on his knees, willing to crawl after her back to her dorm. "OK."

"O…k…?" Inuyasha paled. Had she decided to leave?

"You're on red alert."

"Red…?"

"You're grounded, so to speak. I'm going to take a look at your address book, your planner, whatever, and I'm keeping a tab on your phone calls. When I can trust you again I'll stop tracking you like a mother hen," Kagome crossed her arms, soaked but determined. "If you won't take the offer, we're over."

"So," he said, "you're staying with me?"

Kagome shrugged. "Should I go?"

Inuyasha grabbed her, clutching her forearms tightly. "Never. Stay. Forever."

--

He had been telling the truth. Miroku knew for a fact the girl's been after him since the start of the semester and Inuyasha hadn't handled the alcohol very well.

Sadly, sometimes the truth can't help anyone.

"Arranged…marriage?" Kagome gawked.

Sango nodded furiously as she stabbed her strawberry sundae. "Ayame works for his brother, half-brother, actually, and he set him up with the daughter of another company owner. Ayame overheard him say **_she _**would please Inuyasha since **_she _**looked so much like you. I think her name's like…Ki…Kikyo, or something. Anyway, he forced him to go on a date with **_her_**. Today."

Kagome shook her head. "That's so…not shocking." She looked up and saw Miroku enter the café. "I'll go home and mull this over." To be truthful she didn't want to be a third wheel.

"Buy plenty of ice cream!" Sango yelled after her.

Kagome did.

When she returned to her apartment, with an industrial-sized bucket of strawberry ice cream, she froze at the sight of Kouga, leaning on her door. "Kagome!"

"Uh…hi."

"I just heard from Ayame," he said, looking sympathetic. "That dog dumped you, didn't he?"

Kagome blinked. "Umm, no…"

"I'm so sorry for your loss."

"Kouga, he's not dead."

"I'm here for you."

"That's nice."

"Kagome," he looked over her shoulder. "I love you too."

"Uh—" and then he kissed her, except the bucket of ice cream impeded his movements so all he could manage was a quick peck on her lips. "Whoa, what the hell?" She stepped away, turned, and caught Inuyasha's eyes. He looked crestfallen, but his expression quickly changed to indifference once she noticed him in the hallway. He nodded and quickly walked away.

Kagome whirled on Kouga, slammed the bucket of ice cream against his chest, and slapped him all in succession. She gave him the most disgusted glare she could muster and then made a mad dash after Inuyasha. God, why was she always doing all the running?

She chased him out the apartment and into the streets, where she found him hailing down a taxi cab. Oh god, he was on the other side of the street! Was she too late? Not in Kagome's world! She waited for the taxi to turn and when the right time came she threw herself in front of the taxi, screaming at the top of her lungs, "INUYASHA YOU MAN-WHORE! YOU SUCK!"

Inuyasha hopped out of the yellow cab and screamed, "What the fuck! What're you crazy?" As if on cue it started raining.

Kagome groaned and cursed, but the cab driver was louder. "I'm working, lady. Either get in the car or get off the road!"

"Good idea!" Kagome screamed and pushed Inuyasha and herself into the back of his cab. "He's paying for the fare!"

"Good!" The driver stepped on the gas, waving his finger at the cars forced to stop behind him thanks to Kagome's antics.

Inuyasha just stared, not believing that this was happening to him. "What the—"

"I listened to you when YOU made out with a whore, now you **_better_** listen to me!" She screeched.

The cab driver turned the radio on.

"You were MAKING OUT with a random girl in college and I heard you out. Kouga _barely _kissed me, more like a peck on the cheek, and you leave like I cheated on you."

"You said you…" he growled, avoiding her eyes. "You said you loved—"

"I said no such thing!" Kagome screamed at his face. "**_He _**said **_he _**loved me too! I wanted to get in my apartment so I could eat my stupid ice cream!" Ice cream? Oh yeah! "And WHY didn't you tell me you got **ENGAGED**?"

The cab driver hid his snigger and opened a bag of popcorn. "This is getting gooooood."

Inuyasha winced. "I didn't want to…but I need the money."

"…money?" Kagome signaled for him to go on.

He sighed. "My mom…she's been sick and they have an experimental drug for her condition. Sesshomaru runs a pharmaceutical company and he offered the money…if I tied the knot with a broad from another company for an upcoming merger."

Kagome stared for a very long time, then, "Does your brother know it's the twenty first century?"

Inuyasha opened his mouth but no sound came out.

"An arranged marriage for a MERGER?"

"That is pretty stupid," the driver agreed and shoved a handful of popcorn into his mouth.

"Thank you," Kagome nodded and turned back to Inuyasha. "See? It's just ridiculous. How sad is that? We're fighting over an arranged marriage. Can't you get the money by selling nude photos of your brother to the tabloids?" Inuyasha paled at the thought.

"Buy a lottery ticket!" The driver suggested as he stopped at a red light.

"Sell the story to a competing pharmaceutical company!"

"Hook him up with a call-girl and blackmail his ass!"

"Kidnap his secretary for a ransom!"

"Become a pirate overseas!"

"I get it!" Inuyasha shouted. "Most of those are illegal, but I get the idea. I might just…" Inuyasha looked up, confident. "All right, I know what to do. Kagome, you and I," he held her hands as the cab driver gasped in expectation, "we'll have to wait. While I sort this all out."

"…wait?"

"In two years, I'll have sorted this all out."

…? "Wait, why do we have to wait two years?"

"I have unfinished business with my family. I need to settle this."

"…yeah, but why do we have to wait?" Kagome stared. "I'm confused."

"So am I," the driver muttered.

Inuyasha shut her up senseless with a kiss and since he couldn't kiss the driver to submission threw wads of cash at him. The driver, as instructed, stopped at a nearby train station. Inuyasha pulled Kagome out into the rain and directed her to the bathroom. The cab driver shook his head and pulled out a magazine. This was going to take a while.

--

Kagome looked at her watch. It had been two years to the day and he was late!

He hadn't specified when or where they would meet up, just two years and the train station. Not very detailed. Kagome rubbed her throbbing temple and leaned back on the bench. She picked up the papers. Looks like Sesshomaru had tied a knot and was expecting a little baby girl. Perhaps this had something to do with Inuyasha? She wouldn't know, since he'd been pretty silent for the past **_two years_**.

"KAGOMEEEE!"

Kagome's heart leapt and she looked around. What she hadn't expected was for Inuyasha's face to pass by, holding out a hand from the train window. Kagome got to her feet and ran after the train, reaching for his hand. "You idiot! You didn't tell me you'd be on a train!"

"I fell asleep during the ride!"

The train sped up and soon Kagome's chase became hopeless. "Inuyasha!"

"Kagome!"

"YOU MAN-WHORE!"

"WHAT?"

"INUYASHA!" Kagome screamed after him as the train disappeared, and she collapsed to her knees. An old woman and several other soap opera-loving people crowded around her.

"There, there…"

"She's lost him."

"You'll see him again, someday."

"Yeah, just wait."

Kagome got to her feet. "Never! Fuck you all, I'm not giving up!" As she ran to the parking lot she thought she heard a, "You show 'em, girl!" and a "Get your man!"

--

Inuyasha sulked all the way to the next stop. Once the train stopped he quickly got off the train, clumsily holding his suitcase and duffel bag. When he ran out of the train station a familiar car greeted him by loudly honking. Repeatedly. Kagome stepped out of her car and smiled. "Inuyasha."

Said man dropped everything and moved to hug her.

The girl slapped him.

"What—what was that for?"

"That's for making me run. Again."

The girl and guy finally hugged and realized all the cliché obstacles were now over and done with. They were college graduates who finally had a future together. Kagome had been sensible enough not to make this story any longer than it needed to be by stepping back and mulling over her obstacles. Kagome saved herself a lot of heartbreaks, that's for sure.

And to say Inuyasha was a lucky guy would be a severe understatement.

Severe. Understatement.

Kagome pulled Inuyasha into her car.

"It might rain," she whispered.

"How about the backseat?" he huskily said.

A yellow cab drove by and the driver shook his head. "Kids these days."

**_The End_**

**--**

**An: **Cliché obstacles must DIEEEEEE! Helpless damsels must UNITEEEE! Seriously, reading three angst fics in a row did this to me. Damn you ANGGSSTTTT!


End file.
